As promised, my mother came back on a long leave from Kerala. Life was much easier than ever before. My mother was always at home to listen to my troubles, to cook my favourite food, to guide me whenever I was distressed and many other similar privileges. Alphonsa, her Vachanampetty,Radhika and her songs had brightened my life. I felt liberated and happy like never before. Positivity had embraced me. It helped me ignore Lenin & his friends. It drove me closer towards studies. However, the positivity wasn’t sufficient to erase my feelings for Hari. I still loved him and missed him. I prayed for him during his exams. On Hari’s birthday, I gave my pocket money to Alphonsa and told her to light as many candles as she could buy from that money at her church. I prayed for his long life.

Days passed. Our final exams finished. It was time to bid farewell to the place where I belonged & to my dear friends Alphonsa & Radhika. Our furnitures, appliances and other stuff were packed and were ready to be shipped to Kerala. A few chairs and few vessels were left behind for my father as he would join us only a year later. We all were heavy hearted. Those feelings and emotions had to be buried deep in our minds itself.

That dreadful day had finally arrived. Many of our family friends, Alphonsa & Radhika had come to railway station to bid adieu.My aunt who stayed in Hari's village,was travelling with us along with my cousin sister who was 3 years old by then. There was nothing to be happy about or nothing to be excited about anymore. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I waved good bye to my two gems Alphonsa & Radhika. I could not sit, sleep or stay upright. I wished all that was happening didn't happen. I kept biting my nails wondering about Hari. I didn't want to evoke wrong emotions again in my mind. I was trying hard to forget him but meeting him would turn things upside down.

We reached Hari's house. I tried to stay with my mother as much as possible. I avoided eye contact with Hari.I made myself disappear in the crowd. While I was taking a nap I overheard Hari's brother teasing him with a girl's name. Hari ordered him to shut up. Being at Hari's place, ignoring Hari and then realizing that he probably loved someone else, all these thoughts churned my heart. I was dazed and wanted to run away. My parents probably sensed my discomfort, so we didn't stay there much. I felt relieved and miserable at the same time.

After leaving Hari's house, I realized that it was time to forget Hari and all his memories. He was in love with someone else. I had no more rights to keep his memories with me which Radhika had returned back after our board exams. I decided to throw away his letter, the letters that I wrote to him and other things which I had saved over the years for his memory. At the railway station, I found a large garbage bin. I looked around to ensure that nobody noticed me. I threw all those things associated with his memories into the dustbin with a lump in my throat. I prayed to Lord that moment to forgive me, to help me forget Hari and to move ahead. We boarded the train and reached Ernakulam. My mother had been transferred to Ernakulam office and we were going to stay at the government quarters.

The first few weeks were very chaotic. The room had to be dusted, washed and cleaned. The furniture, appliances, vessels had to be arranged. Our time flew away in figuring out the location of shops, shopping new stuffs and purchasing groceries. Our neighbours were very friendly and helped us a lot. My father had to go back to his Mumbai office. I, my mother & my brother had to live in an unknown place with no other support. Everything initially seemed difficult without my father but it helped us to be more independent.

After 2 months, my X standard results were announced. Everyone was thrilled that I had done well in my board exams. My brother’s report card and transfer certificate were also ready. My father decided to come again to Ernakulam to arrange my brother’s & my school admissions. He halted at Hari’s house. At night, my father ringed us to inform us that he was staying at Hari’s place. I was speaking to my father on phone. He told me that Hari passed the board exams with good marks as well.

Suddenly, he handed over the phone to Hari.

“Hello Gayu”

“It’s me Hari”

That voice was etched in my heart and ears .It never needed an introduction. I was stunned and could not think of any words.

“Gayu...can you hear me?”

I gained my senses and replied,” Yes”

“Congratulations Gayu. I saw your report card. You have scored well, in fact, more than me. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you. Congratulations to you too….How..how are you?”

“I’m great. I’m planning to do take up science stream. Your father told us that you are also going to opt for science.”

“Yes. I’m opting for science”

“Okay..Congratulations once again. Bye”

He handed over the phone to my father. The water in my tear glands involuntarily flowed out. I wiped it before my mother noticed it and handed over the phone to her.

I rushed to my room where I had placed the Vachanampetty. I wanted to forget Hari and move on; I prayed and chose a card.

It read:

“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds”.

-Psalms(147:3)

The verses came true. I joined a new school. It was a girl’s convent school. I made beautiful friends and enjoyed going to school every day.

One day early morning we received a call from Mumbai. It was my father. He informed us that Hari’s grandfather passed away early morning. My father had booked tickets and told us leave for Hari’s place immediately. We packed few clothes and hurried to the railway station.

When we reached Hari’s house we saw that Hari was busy among the people who were pouring in after hearing the news. We went inside to pay our last respects to Hari’s grandfather. I stayed with my mother. Hari asked me and my brother to accompany him to his cousin’s house, to be away from the crowd and elders. Hari, his brothers, his school friends, kids from the family, me and my brother were in that house. Hari was busy. I was glad that he didn’t have time to speak. He went with his uncles and cousins to perform the last rites of his grandfather and came back very late.

Next day morning, the house was bustling with relatives. My aunt and my 3 year old cousin sister were also with us. My baby cousin was running a fever. I was looking after her as her mother was busy. She was sleeping in Hari’s room. I saw Hari’s drawing book and journals on his study table. I was tempted to see his drawings but I didn’t. I closed my eyes & lay down on the bed with my little sister. I woke up hearing Hari’s voice.

“How’s she now Gayu?”

“She’s okay. Her temperature has come down.”

“Her mother sent me to find out about her”

"Oh..Okay"

"Fine. Will go & tell aunt that her fever has reduced.”

"Yes, please tell her."

"I will be back"

"Okay"

Hari came back.

"I told her"

"Okay"

"Are you alright Gayu? You seem to have changed a lot. What’s the matter?"

"I'm feeling tired, nothing else."

“Take rest then. I am in the next room. Call me if you need anything."

"Hmm...”

I immersed my face into a pillow so that Hari doesn't hear my sobs and I cried till I fell asleep. I woke up when my sister woke up and started crying. I went to the next room to ask Hari if he could look after her for some time while I went to find her mother.

“I don’t know why she’s behaving like this. I wonder if she found out those drawings in my room.”

I overheard Hari’s conversation with his friend over the phone. I moved back to the same room without making any noise. I took my sister in my arms and pacified her. I quickly checked through the drawing books and journals kept on the table. There were few lab journals and few personal notebooks. Finally,I found the drawing which he was talking about.

There was a sketch in the drawing book which made me blush…..